April-2007
So much difficulty!!
Yesterday I spent over ten hours waiting in the Emergency Ward,and now I'm trying to write a quick entry before returning to the hospital.
Three weeks ago Sri Radha Raman [who is managing Gopinatha dham] had a major operation. Since coming out of hospital, we've tried to take care of him, however his condition has become steadily worse.
After six days of intermittent high fever and chills, we had to return to the emergency department. Tests and a CAT scan uncovered an infected abdominal mass[hematoma] the size of a tennis ball. He's now back in hospital under supervision and hoping to avoid another operation.
Yesterday I found myself sitting amongst so many sufferers awaiting some relief treatment.There I read about something that struck me.
In Brhat Bhagavatamrita, the Personified Vedas are debating the value of liberation. While some of the Puranas and other Vedic scriptures glorify liberation, the scriptures who teach about Bhakti firmly state that liberation is mainly appreciated by those who are suffering.
They explain how when "our minds are disturbed by the pains of birth, death and other torments of this world" we cannot taste the "heart-melting spiritual nectar of love that pure devotees have" which makes the relief of liberation - "which is like deep sleep or the happiness of NOT BEING SICK" - seem more than it actually is!!!! Factually, liberation is merely an absence of pain.
This is an important point.
All of us suffer in some way. When we feel that all we want is relief that is the search for liberation.
Well you might say,don't we all yearn to return to a pain free condition? Sri Radha Raman is certainly suffering and eager to be free from sickness and pain.But there is more than that to be gained:
"But only in devotional service does the highest degree of happiness naturally arise. That happiness is the right reward for those who practice serving the Supreme Lord's all-blissful lotus feet"
"Were our longed for relief from suffering accomplished, and one became self satisfied, still that is considered an ignorant man's achievement, because the happiness that arises from directly serving Krishna, strains the capacity of words to convey. It never reaches a peak, but keeps on increasing forever."
Sitting dull and tired in the hospital emergency department, reading Brhat Bhagavatamrita, I found myself lifted [at least for some moments] above the wear-and-tear misery of life in this world. Immediately I recognized a relief from distress, but also far more than that.
Therefore we can understand why Srila Prabhupada recommends this hearing process for everyone.
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